The Guppies

The Basset Hounds, otherwise known as the Bassets or the puppies remind me of guppies. I have a male and a female, they are siblings.  The male is Doc and the female is Bug and they are about six months old. They are still short enough to walk under Samson's belly (The German Shepherd), and when they look up at me from way down on the floor, they remind me of guppies reaching up to the top of a fish tank for fish food.
Sometimes I feel like the Pied Piper when I come home.  That's when I have three dogs and a cat following my every move, waiting for attention.  I'm usually in four inch heels, so walking around them is a very slow and dangerous past time.  Once I get my shoes off and change out of my work clothes, I have to give each animal a treat and then one on one lap time.  Of course, the lap time isn't that big of a deal for the cat, he's a light weight.  And you would think the guppies would be lighter than they are since they really aren't that big.  However, by the time I get to Samson, his 105 pound body on my lap is literally breath-taking!
The guppies, however, are the ones that really demand attention.  If I don't give them attention, they will bite my toes, which doens't hurt too bad when I have shoes on, but when I'm barefooted, that gets my attention! And if biting my toes isn't enough, then they begin to tug on my pant leg or the bottom of my skirt or dress.  This can get dicey.  So I'm usually in a hurry to get away from them to change, and then get them occupied with something other than me.  But the lap time isn't an option and usually can't be avoided.  Both guppies like to put their paws on my shoulders and rest their heads on their paws so I can more easily rub their backs.  But now that they're going on six months old, their bodies are longer and this becomes a wrestling match.  I'm trying to keep them from falling off me onto the floor while they wiggle like a guppy to get the optimal back scratch.  Who needs areobics!
Tonight, though, the guppies are in deep water.  For the moment they are sentenced to the back yard and the dog door is closed.  They have taken my new pair of tennis shoes outside and two balls of yarn that cost $15 each.  I've never met a dog more intent on chewing than these two!  And yes, I've been the good dog parent and gotten them all sorts of goodies to play with and to chew on.  They even play tug-o-war with Sam.  But there seems to be something about my shoes and my yarn.  Their cuteness isn't working on me at the moment, although I'm sure I'll pay for that as well.  They are probably scheming while I'm writing this.
So, I'm sitting here, counting and trying to remain calm and waiting for the inevitable.... the time when they are tired of being outside and begin jumping at the window.  By then I will have to let them in or they will rip yet another screen.  So I'm wondering.... how expensive is cuteness?  And how much cuteness is really worth the expense.  Those two hoodlums better hope the answer is "A Lot" !

Today

For just a second I want to imagine that I am that person who I always thought I would be.  Were that a reality, however, I am just not sure who I would be.  While this seems like circular rationalization, it really is just a reflection of the chaos that seems to be a part of everyday life.
For just a second, let me indulge in this concept of knowing who I am, knowing what I want, and being that person that is confident that things will be as they should be.  Am I the only one that has had these kinds of thoughts, wonderings, wishes, ponderings...?
In all actuality, as crazy as my life is 99 percent of the time, I am not willing to change my experiences, although I must say, some experiences have not been as enjoyable as others.  Take for instance my decision, and what I believe was God pushing me, to find a different job.  I applied for several months to dozens, and I mean multiple dozens, of potential opportunities.  Within that time I had more denial letters than I had interviews, which in and of itself seems a bit odd at times, yet I continued to search and apply with a faith that this is what I am supposed to do and when the position becomes available that God has intended for me to have, I would then have a new job.
Then came the day that I interviewed for a position with Child Protective Services, and was told through an inside source, that I was chosen for the position however there was now a hiring freeze in effect. Once more, God is teaching me He is in control.  Three months later, I am now, finally, getting ready to leave my comfort zone and begin a new career.  Which brings me back to my experiences and how they have shaped me over my lifetime.
To begin again; to start over; to be at the bottom of the rank and file can be intimidating.  To learn something new, even though it can be exciting, is at a minimum, a case of butterflies in the tummy.  The unknown is more often a hazy shadow just out of reach of the sun's rays, but I still seem drawn to it. 
As I am cleaning out the two offices I occupy I wonder how many of these things will I be ablet to take to my new position.  I try to picture what my old office will look like with its new occupant.  Sure this may seem unimportant but it is the last step of leaving. 
I have 2 days left with a department that I have given 11 years to and then, on Monday, it will be an entirely new experience to go to work.  I am excited to move on, and at the same time, am experiencing a bit of grief, perhaps if nothing else, for leaving my comfort zone and leaping into a new experience.
But I am not worried.  God put me on this path to this new experience and while I do not know what it will be like, He does.
"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way."  Psalm 37:23